Trudging Through the Muck

Well that sounds fun, doesn't it? "Trudging through the muck" is but one of myriad descriptions I frequently hear for the process, if you will, of waking up, shedding old stuff, striving for more and more authenticity in ourselves. I think you know what I mean. In a class the other night, I think the word was discomfort. Of course, we all may mean slightly different things with the language we use, but what I'm calling attention to at the moment is our tendency to focus on the muck and how hard it all is. This has certainly been a theme lately because as I write these words and think the thoughts associated with them, they are not unfamiliar.

In the conversation the other night with the person who was talking about the discomfort he was experiencing as he engaged his own process of shedding old stuff, I peppered him with a lot of questions about why he was doing what he was doing in the first place. Why was he even bothering with all of the discomfort? What would be the result of the process he was engaging? As the expression on his face registered degrees of bewilderment or consternation, I explained the method to my madness.

First, the law of attraction is always on and while we all know what the muck is like and can find countless people with whom to commiserate about it and wallow in it, no amount of that will ever be very helpful. Second, and most importantly, I was encouraging a conversation about the choices he was making. And the reason I wanted to help him get in touch with the choices he was making to engage this process of self-discovery after he'd spent decades avoiding it was to help him see what it was he was valuing. Ultimately we got to a chunk of it. He was valuing truth over deception; he was valuing his relationship; he was valuing personal growth.

Well this was a far more interesting than the conversation about muck! And trust me, it was not necessarily easy for him - or anyone in this position - to have this conversation. It was a real stretch - like super thick taffy - to pull away from the muck and into thoughts and ideas that were lighter and less mucky. There is much inertia in the muck yet our willingness to reach beyond and out of it is a far more valuable use of our energy than is commiserating about the muck.

The choices we make - moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day - show us what it is we value. And when we remind ourselves of what it is we value, frenetic energy softens and the reasons for the muck become much more clear. Also, this information is self-motivating in that the more we think about why we are doing something, the more we can see good and strength and virtue in ourselves, the easier it is to engage our process. Yes, there is muck but we give it way too much power by focusing on it, exacerbating whatever issues we have going on. We tend to make the muck the story, but it isn't. The muck is actually just fuel for our growth.