Abuse

It's time to tread into, judgment alert, sticky territory. I was recently privy to a conversation about abuse and one person said that nobody ever deserved to be treated in an abusive manner and that all abuse is hurtful and damaging. On the surface, it's easy to agree with these sentiments but below the surface, there's more, much more, from a Spiritual Workout perspective.

First, we must find the strength to eliminate the judgment. Remember, judgments separate us and so as soon as we call it hurtful or damaging or wrong or unjust, we are all wrapped up in those ideas and cut off from any real further understanding.

Next, we must exercise what will likely be viewed as some radical form of taking responsibility but, of course, there's no such thing. When we take responsibility for everything in our experience, we take responsibility for everything in our experience. There are no exceptions. It doesn't mean we are to blame, it doesn't mean we are wrong, it simply means that we are spiritual beings having human experiences and everything we experience is something we signed up for, harsh as that may seem. Karma, of course, comes in to play as we likely have no idea what transpired with our soul and the soul of our abuser(s) before. Simply adopting the notion that part of what is happening is that we are working off karmic debts, so to speak, can go a long way in helping us to move through such experiences.

Also tied to this is the notion that we are here for a reason so beyond karma, crises in our lives give birth to growth opportunities. Always. Learning to stand up for oneself, shedding non-serving beliefs about ourselves, others, and how the world works, and growing our compassion muscles, are but examples of what a crisis of abuse can give rise to. Thus, instead of hurtful and damaging, abuse experiences can just as easily be seen as purposeful and healing.

In fact, until we get to where we see everything we call crisis as purposeful and healing, we are doomed to stay mired in and repeat the very patterns we so desperately want to end.